But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
