I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
