I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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