I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
