drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i think im in europe. pls send help
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
