How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
