she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
