she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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