I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
