But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
