I can tuck mytits in my pants
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
