I want to have your abortion
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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