If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
