looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
