This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
