i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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