If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
