it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
