I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
