yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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