I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize