Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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