Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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