you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
