Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
