well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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