I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
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that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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