I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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