I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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