drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
