I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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