Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
