So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
