i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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