Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
