I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
