Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize