Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
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I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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