I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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