Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
