His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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