i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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