is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
