Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
