It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
