Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize