dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
