i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
