Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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