Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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