I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
