i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My ass is underappreciated
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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