if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
