I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
