Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
