oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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