Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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