he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
