im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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