Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
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He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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