Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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