in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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