you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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