there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
