So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
