OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
