I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
