he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.