it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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