I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
