So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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